A woman who was attracted to her father has revealed how they had oral sex after she discovered he also had incestuous feelings for her.

Natasha Rose Chenier, 27, from Vancouver, Canada, has shared her shocking story with Jezebel.

She relates how she discovered her biological father 'wanted to have sex with me from the first moment he laid eyes on me' after they met for the first time when she was 19.

Natasha felt full of 'self hate and disgust' after acting on sexual feelings she had for her father (file photo)

Eventually they succumbed to their feelings as Natasha recalls: 'We had oral sex a few times, almost always preceded by my descending into a whirlwind of self-hate and disgust and dry heaving over the toilet in the bathroom attached to his room.'  

The sexual encounters came after Natasha had established contact with her her father two years before when she was 19. He lived in Jamaica and she had been to visit him there a few times and spoke with him on the phone between visits. 

Natasha's mother had a casual relationship with her father when she was also 19 but he made a 'quick exit' when she became pregnant - so Natasha had not known, or had any contact with him, when she was growing up.

 I had no idea what was normal in a father-daughter relationship. We held each other and I felt safe

She explains how she tracked him down as a teenager and arranged to meet him at a time when she was 'lonely and angry at my mother'.

Describing meeting her father for the first time, she said he 'dazzled her', treating her to expensive meals.

She then reveals how they would keep in touch by phone between visits and had lots in common. 

'When I first met him in person I noticed that we even had the same posture, the same way of carrying ourselves in the world. I was intoxicated by our likeness, which I never shared with my mother, or with any siblings (I am an only child),' she explains.

She writes how she then started to be sexually attracted to him - and even started sleeping in his bed. She writes: 'As well as shocked and horrified to realise it - I spoke of it to no one, least of all him. I hoped I would go home and the feeling would go away. But it didn't. Instead, it grew.'

Incest can occur when relatives meet as adults because 'people tend to select mates that are like themselves physically and mentally' (file photo)

It was during her final visit to see him in 2009 when she was 21 that she 'discovered our sexual attraction to be mutual' and her father admitted to her that he had wanted to have sex with her 'from the first moment I saw you.'

 I was not only a victim of my father's two-year seduction; I also felt a victim of my own sexual feelings

Natasha writes: 'I imagine that, unless you have experienced genetic sexual attraction yourself, this is going to sound entirely unbelievable. But trust me: it is as real and intense as anything. The sexual feelings I had for my father felt like a dark spell that had been cast over me.

'I was not only a victim of my father's two-year seduction; I also felt a victim of my own sexual feelings. I felt ashamed of myself, and I had no one to talk to about it. I wasn't equipped to understand or handle my feelings.' 

After having oral sex on a number of occasions, Natasha said she then shut herself in a bedroom away from her father on her final night in Jamaica and he drove her to the airport the next day in silence.

She hasn't returned to see him and six years on, she's still trying to make sense of what happened between them.

She has had therapy and is writing an 'autofictional' novel about her experience.

INCEST OFFENCES

There were 830 offences of incest or familial sexual offences detected in England and Wales in 2011/12 according to Home Office statistics 

She learnt that genetic sexual attraction can often occur between relatives who did not know one another when growing up. 

This has led her to believe 'genetic sexual attraction is normal, and very real.'

But thanks to her therapy, she has accepted it wasn't her fault and is experiencing less self-loathing over what happened. 

Leading behavioural hypnotherapist and regressionist Nicolas Aujula says he has treated numerous people after they have had incestuous relationships, as he has sourced case studies to appear in his 'Taboo Hunters' documentary. 

He said: 'The most common form of incest is between siblings which more readily occurs when the older child is a boy who forces younger sibling into sexual contact usually during puberty. It rarely occurs if girls are older than male sibling. 

'Father/step-father and daughter incest ranks second on list. When incest involves minors its clearly an act of abuse fuelled by power-driven attitudes and perverse behaviour picked up in childhood. 

'There can also be an enjoyment on the abusers part of getting their own back from past experiences of being belittled or wronged.' 

He said that genetic sexual attraction can occur in 50 per cent of cases when relatives meet for the first time as adults because: 'There is usually a strong emotional attraction that gets turned into sexual feelings, though not all genetic sexual attraction feelings turn into sexual acts. 

'One explanation is people tend to select mates that are like themselves physically and mentally; known as assortative mating.' 

He added that when he has hypnotised those who have had an incestuous relationship, they have revealed 'on a deep subconscious level, underlying feelings of childhood rejection and a need to seek familial approval fueled this act.' 

 

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